Wednesday, September 27, 2006

Blog Story, P5

Okay, i KNOW this is short, but this week was insane. i'll be better next time! *hangs head in shame*

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By the next day, i was tired of avoiding Eric. Actually, i didnt even remember why i had been avoiding him in the first place. He was going to find me somehow, like he always managed to do when i was mad at him. So i decided to make it my descision to forgive him, since apparently i am five.

I walked up to him at lunch and tapped him on the shoulder. He turned and jumped when he saw me. "Miley! Hi!" he said in the overfriendly way that's a huge, blinking, pink-and-yellow neon warning sign that he's going to apologize in five seconds or less.

"I'm done being a bitch now."

"Oh, no, you weren't--"

"It's not like there's anything we can do about it, right?" I cut him off. He gave me a weird look and said, "Yeah, i guess." It's not like this was that odd. i'm usually the one who blows off the big-deal apology, because it's just too much thinking. And with rehersal today and having to stare at him for two hours straight? Ew.

"So...we should probably, you know...eat."

"That would be good." We walked over to the table in time for me to get hit in the head with a Tater Tot. "What the--"

"GOOOOAAAAAAAAALLLLLL!" The football players screamed, pounding their fists on the table. I was pretty much ready to kill them, but i didnt out of respect for Eric. They couldnt hit me back, so they'd probably hit him. And kill him. And then i wouldnt have anyone to eat lunch with.

Ricey Rocks

Still working on my story. I have writer's block. So i decided to put this conversation on here. it's about...PLUTO!! Title is c/o tim.

me: why is pluto dead?
did someone explode it?
Tim: It's no longer a planet
BEcause
that's what's the astonomers said
WE now have 8 planets
and several dwarf planets
Me: whaa why???
so now the rhym is wrong!
*M*y *V*ery *E*ntergetic *M*other *J*ust *S*erved *U*s *N*ine *P*izzas
and now
we have no pizza!!
well
why isnt it a planet?? * still processing this *
but but but
they made it a planet before!!!!!!!!
* cries *
so confused...
PM But i memorized it!!!
no
but
but
it was PLUTO!!
Tim: It still is
me: but it was all important up there...
Tim: Look
Pluto is inatimate
me: with the big planets...
Tim: it doesn't care
me: I'M VERY ATTACHED TO PLUTO OKAY?!?!?!?
Tim: Talk to NASA
maybe they can send you some pictures or something
me: OMG weird stuffs...
Tim: ?
me: is everything now a picture of jesus???
Tim: ?
Wha?
me: it's like, "i found a picture of jesus on my turtle!"
i'm serious
Tim: ?
Where?
me: only wait no it was mary
Tim: Where?
me: on the turtle
Tim: No
i mean
where is this turtle
you speak of?
me: i don't know
Tim: Okay...
me: on the news
Tim: Go to here:
http://pluto.planetologie.de/images/pluto.jpg
Picture of pluto
me: why would i want a picture of pluto?
it's not even a planet anymore
jeez
Tim: Because you said you were attached to it
me: yes
yes i am
Tim: So I gave you a picture
me: awwww look at the cute little pluto!
i thought it was purple tho...
Tim: Exactly
NO!
It's a big ball of ICY ROCK!!!!!
me: don't worry it's still cute
Tim: RICY ROCKS!!!!!!!
me: ricy??
Tim: *ICY
me: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
HAHAHAHAHA
HA
HAHA
Tim: 3
2
1
DRAW!
me: ?
Tim: BANG!
me: oh no
not that again
Tim: You ahve just lost your first internet shoot-out!
*have
me: not my first
or second
or thir
d
Tim: Oh.
3
2
me: or 1000000th
Tim: 1
DRAW!
me: * hides *
Tim: ZAP!
me: i hid
haha
ricy
HA
Tim: No, you didn't
me: yes i did
Tim: It has to be *bold*, _italic_, in CAPITAL LETTERS, with and ! at the end
HIDES!
works
but *hides *
doesn't
me: that wouldnt make any sense
Tim: Yes it does
me: the word "hides" shouldnt be conspicuous
Tim: its how th egame is played
me: i'm trying to HIDE
Tim: SO!?!
These are the rules established by the creators of the game
me: sooo if i went HIDES!
you would probably hear me
Tim: No
Look
me: and figure out where i was
Tim: that's how the game is
besides
we dion't hear anything
We're typing
me: so?
Tim: Nevermind
Pluto is not a planet
that is th epoint
we should blow it up!
me: and not ricy
icy
NO
YOU SHAL NEVER BLOW UP PLUTO
IF YOU BLOW UP PLUTO, I'LL BLOW YOU UP!
Tim: No, you won't
That's illegal
me: so is blowing up pluto
Tim: No
me: yes
Tim: there's no law against exploding other planets
me: yuh-huh!
Tim: What law?
outlaws it?
me: the law that says nasa will send mafia hit men and various types of disgruntled extraterrestrials to attack you and blow you up
Tim: NO!
me: then you can see how pluto feels
Tim: Pluto is a chunk of rock in space!
It doesn't feel anything!
me: just picturing the very rewarding image of tim's head exploding here
Tim: WTM!?!
me: ummmmmm
oh yeah
what the monkey
what if i were to say
WTF??
or WTFF?
6:02 PM Tim: What the frankfirter
me: (what the french fry)
Tim: or
what the plying flapjack
me: wtff=what the french fry
plying flapjack!
Tim: flying flapjack
me: HA...nah, still not as funny as ricy rock
i need a title for my blog
Tim: Ricey Rocks
me: hahahah...nah that sounds slightly dirty...for some reason...
ahahahaha
hmmm
Tim: Whatever
me: * thinks *
Tim: pluto = rice ball?
me: * screw pops out of brain *
Hahahahahaha ricey
Tim: Exaclty
me: ummmmmmmmmm
Tim: I'm still blowing up Pluto
me: no ur not
Tim: to get the rice!
me: HA
and i'm naming my blog "I <3 Cherry Soda
NO YOU ARE NOT BLOWING UP PLUTO!!!

And so...the legend was born. the original conversation is much longer, but we just go off on a random tangent about music, musicals, sweeny todd, and how bad i sing.

Tuesday, September 26, 2006

Sharp Focus

blog story p 5 coming out relativley soon-ish, i.e when i feel like it. But i made some pictures and thought "Hey, i'll put these on my blog".

This is the original:


this is the other version. i used sharp focus, tint, saturation and funky tools like that:

Saturday, September 23, 2006

A Little Break + A Tour Of the Rope Swing

Okay so just FYI, the 5th part of my blog story is below. These are some random pix. Enjoy.


The view from a few yards away

Looking Up, Pt 1.

Looking up, Pt 2.

Looking Down

Lift Off

Spin

In The Air

Blog Story, P4

As Emily would say, MAHALO (weird!) to Elizzy for names!!!! Mahalo means thank you, not an insult as i originally thought. So yes...NAMES!!!!!

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I left as soon as i possibly could. I didnt talk to Eric because i just didnt
feel like dealing. It was his fault anyways, and what with having Science 8th period, i didnt need anymore drama.

Because did i mention that Luke is in my science class? And that he's my partner because every teacher in this stupid school is obsessed with alphabetical order? No, i don't think i did. But needless to say, by the end of the day i felt like i was going to punch the next person who could possibly have been doing something stupid to me in a past life. or something. Basically, i was touchy to the extreme. And Luke is not a good person to be touchy around.

"Okay, here's what's gonna happen, dude," he said, with the most obnoxious look ever on his face. "I don't feel like working, so you're gonna do whatever the hell we need to do with these acid things, and i'm gonna observe."

This guy was in for a major reality check. What i wanted to do was pour the acid all over his head, but the teacher was watching, so i settled for saying, "Um, okay, here's what's really gonna happen, DUDE. YOU'RE going to do something for once in your life and get some test tubes and gloves and stick the test tube in the holder and we're going to do the freaking experiment thing and YOU are going to type the lab report this time." He started to protest. "Unless you want me to stick that test tube somewhere else, you're going to do it NOW." He muttered something rude under his breath and walked off.

That felt better.

Not as good as pouring acidic substances over his snarky head.

But still.

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"Chocolate banana split with two cherries and rainbow sprinkles. Oh, and with a banana."

That part was kind of included in the whole 'banana split' thing, I thought. But that's not what came out of my mouth. Not unless i wanted another lecture on respecting the customer. "That's $4.50, please." I handed the kid the banana split. "There IS a banana in this, right?"

"Look, why do you keep asking that? It's a banana split. It even says BANANA right there on the chalkboard," I said, forgetting about respecting the customer for just one minute.

"Because the last time I ordered this, the guy with the moustache gave me a fish."

I rolled my eyes and sighed. Not again."Well, it's a banana."

He looked doubtful. "You swear?"

I held up my right hand and touched my pinkie with my thumb. "Girl Scout Promise." I'm not a girl scout, but the kid didnt need to know that.

I waited until there was a lull before i started yelling at Ted.

"Ted?"

"Yeah?"

"I had some kid out here about an hour ago who said that you made him a banana split with some interesting ingredients." Silence. "As in, a fish."

More silence.

"Ted, seriously, we talked about this. Mr. Boss will kill you if you do that again and i will have to dispose of the body and it will NOT be pretty. I know what you made in Utah; you explained that to me after the Double Caramel-Pickle Crunch Incedent. But this isnt Utah. It's West Virginia. We're not as, uh, daring around here. So just stick to the classics, okay?" He grumbled and went into the back, probably to find out if we had any roadkill to mix into the Bubblegum Float.

Employees at I-Skreem (har de har har) are usually a little...interesting. I get to boss everyone else around becuase i'm some sort of Junior Manager or something. It kind of worries me that the Junior Manager is 15 and supposed to control people who are up to twice her age and are routinley discovered to be on the run from the law or actually a man. But it pays really good and i get free ice cream to bring home to my siblings.

Suddenly, a huge crash came from outside, followed by an "Oops" and what sounded like six other kids cracking up. And it was getting closer.

Oh, no.

I knew that noise. It was the noise of the absoloute terror that was...my family.

Well, okay, not ALL of them were in my family. But three were. My brothers Dennis and Craig, and my sister, Blaire. The other four were their friends, Alyssa, Natalie, Owen, and Eli. They left the animals outside this time, thank God. But judging from what Owen was wearing, i.e. paint, he had just knocked over the guy touching up the sign outside the hardware store. And the hardware store people arent traditionally the nicest bunch.

And instead of being all, Get out of here, and leaving them to their fate, which i totally should have, I explained to the hardware store man (a balding guy who got toatlly red in the face every time he yelled, which is often, so he spends most of his life looking like a couple of tomatoes lumped on top of each other) that there was no way any kids had ran in here, while the aforementioned kids hid under the counter.

After he left, they started running around back there. "Guys," I said kind of tiredly, "why are you here?"

"Mom's at work, Dad's at work, you're at work," Blaire sang. "Everyone's at work! So we walked here from the bus stop instead of going home on the bus."

Yes, my clueless mother lets my brothers and sister, ages 10 (Dennis), 8 (Craig), and 6 (Blaire), along with their friends (whose ages rage from 11, Owen, to 5, Eli) ride the bus. Not the school bus, either, because we don't really have school buses around here, but the city bus. Or at least she's letting them until she quits her job or i learn to drive or both. Her rationale is that nothing goes on here anyways, so there's no way they'll get abducted or anything like that. I know people whose moms would have rather cut off their left hand than have them ride the bus when they were in kindergarten.

"Does Mom know you guys are here?" I asked, because we basically take care of Alyssa, Natalie, Owen and Eli. Their parents work more than mine do, and for longer, and they do buisness trips.

"No, but you can call her. Now give us ice cream!" Craig demanded, pulling together a couple of tables so they could all sit together.

Which is how i ended up spending my Thursday afternoon doing German homework under the glow of the flourescent lights of I-Skreem, in that tiny little semi-deserted shopping center, babysitting essentially the entire under-12 population of my neighborhood and answering questions about double-didget multiplication until 8 PM, when i took them all home because my mom was too busy and my dad was too busy and their parents were in Australia and i'm expected to because i'm The Responsible One, whether i want to be or not, even at work, and if Ted does that again Mr. Boss won't have to kill him, i'll kill him, and that stupid Luke, why does he have to be my science partner, and Eric is stupid, auditioning for Fiyero, and then i went to bed and fell asleep with all of these thoughts swirling around in my head.

Sunday, September 17, 2006

Blog Story, P3

I saw guys and dolls on sunday, and it was SO FUNNY i heart it...and the jazz hands. Lol. The girl who played Adelaide (i think her name was Maeve??) was SO good. And so were Angie and Jeff S. and Sam. Jazz hands....lolz.

Also, i'm having a very, VERY hard time naming my characters, considering that it's not like i can name them after my friends cuz hello you're reading it and everything, and i don't want to use names i had in my other story. If you have suggestions, please for the love of my sanity tell me some.

So now that that's out there...STORYTIME!!!

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I was sitting there in the auditorium like a total idiot, wondering why I was even there. Well, i knew why i was there. The main reason was pretty much Eric-shaped. But I'll get to that later.

Rewind to about three hours ago. I was wasting time between classes when someone walked by and shoved a flyer in my hand. It said WICKED in big letters with tryout times underneath.

Wicked? The music teachers were seriously attempting Wicked this year? The best musical in the world (in my opinion anyways) and they were going to RUIN it. No, they were going to KILL it. It was going to die right there on that stage, where girls in too-tight dresses attempted to sing high notes and the guys were incapable of saying two coherent words in a row. Seriously. That's how bad our musicals are. The marching band? Pretty good. The orchestra? Great. The chorus? They won an award. But the musical had always fallen behind.

Which is why I screamed, "Are you INSANE?" when Eric told me that he was going to try out this year.

"I thought you liked this one. You hated Sweeny Todd, you couldnt stand The Music Man, and you laughed at the hairstyles the entire time when they played Grease on TV. But you actually LIKE this one, right?" He frowned at me.

"I like it, sure, but our school? Come on."

"What? You like it; come try out with me."

"WHAT???" It's official, I thought. Eric has Lost. His. Mind.

"You can sing alright, and you're constantly talking about how much you want to be Elphaba someday, right?"

"Right, but--"

"And you could just try out, even if it totally sucks, right?"

"Maybe, but--"

"Okay, well, you're coming."

And I did it, because i am a pushover and a doormat and all other bad things, and now i was getting my payback in the form of having to listen to this girl sing. Seriously, I didnt know who she was, but she didnt have any singing voice whatsoever. Not that i'm that much better, but geez...someone should have told her before she tried to hit the high F.

"Uh, okay, thank you," Mr. Phillips said. "Next up is....Milly Herdman?" Ew. I hate it when people say my name like that.

"I'm here," I said, climbing on the stage. The entire time, i wasnt really focusing. It wasnt like i was going to get in anyways. Most of my time was occupied by trying not to trip over myself and giving Eric my best Look Of Death. He asked me to act out a scene for him with Eric as the wizard, and i did. Mostly, i just acted like i thought Eric was the most annoying human being ever invented (which wasnt too hard at the moment, let me tell you), and he acted, well, like Eric. Whatever. Then i had to sing "Defying Gravity." I'm okay, i guess, considering how many times i've had it stuck in my head, and nobody ran out of the room with their hands clamped over their ears screaming "Dear God make it stop." So that was a success, i guess.

The rest of the time was boring. I watched Eric sing "A Sentimental Man", and then we laughed at all the blondes who came to try out for Glinda/Galinda. Never really got that, by the way. After the last screechy-voiced boy left the stage, Mr. Phillips dismissed us all, saying that callbacks would be posted after lunch.

I walked up to the door of the music room half an hour later. There were people everywhere, the kind of people who live for the show, who were shrieking and biting their nails. Eric got a callback (no surprise), i saw as scanned the list. Grayson, Hanna, Herdman...wait, what??

I have to admit, i was kind of surprised that i got a callback. It's not like i'm one of those people who would die if they didnt have Mr. Phillips deciding that they were fit for one of his sucky productions. I would have most likely turned around, laughed, told Eric that i was right, and walked away. We had been given this huge speech about commitment to the production and the long honorable tradition of theatre (I'll admit it: I laughed hard at that one) and about how if we didnt give all of our time we would be kicked out, blah, blah, blah, until i was practically snoring.

The next auditions were after school. I acted, Mr. Phillips looked down his nose at all of us. No different than the last time, except for one thing. I kept having to read for elphaba and he kept having to read for fiyero. After the whole thing was over, i was ready to go home. Mr. Phillips kept yelling at us for every little thing. It's not like i had volunteered for this. Well, technically i had, but really Eric had volunteered me so that didnt count.

Mr. Phillips stepped up on the stage and started reading the names of the people who had made it in. Madame Morrible, Nessa, Doctor Dillamond...I wonder what was for dinner....The Wizard, Glinda...

"Fiyero: Eric Perterson." Well, good for him. that just left--

"Elphaba: Miley Herdman."

WHAT? That was cool...until i remembered who was Fiyero. Eric and i stared at each other in horror.

That figures.

Saturday, September 16, 2006

Blog Story, P2

(Before I start, thanks to Emma and Will for the Karen and Karl dialouge below. Yes, they did actually say all that stuff.)

I headed out of German the next day (Evan was apparently President Bush in disguise) not feeling very chipper. We ran out of diet Coke, and the only thing that was left was one of those semi-putrid iced coffee bottle things. As long as i didnt gag, i could deal with it for the sake of not falling asleep in the middle of lunch and getting chicken noodle soup in my hair like that other time. I still hadnt had time to drink it, so i ran back to my locker during study hall.

I uncapped the bottle and took a tenative sniff.

Ew.

I looked at the clock. 4 more hours left until i could go home.

Bottoms up.

I took a sip and turned around...just in time for a UFB (unidentified flying backpack) to smack right into me.

I think you can guess what happened next. The frappachino went flying. I got slammed into a locker, and there was some shrieking from a few girls (you know, the kind who wear polos and really short skirts) who were concerned that a couple of drops had landed in their hair (which i was sure would probably explode if they got too near a bunsen burner in science, due to all the chemicals they put in it. Their hair, i mean). They didnt have to worry too much, though, because the majority of the drink had splashed onto this huge landmass of a guy. I looked around for the bottle so i could pick it up. "Sorry about that," I said to the guy. "I'm pretty sure that it won't stain or anything like that." I spotted the bottle at his feet and reached down to pick it up. There was coffee all over his big, black combat boots.

Wait a minute. Black combat boots?

I looked up. Oh, yes, I was dead.

He looked at me for a minute, like he couldnt quite place where he had seen me. Then he narrowed his eyes.

So very, very dead.

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"Mylie!!"

"Hey, Karen," I said to the five-year-old girl who had come to the door. "Is your mom here?"

"She just left. She saw you coming, and she was late," Karen recited. "Me and Karl are playing with our Beanie Babies. Come on, you can be the bunny rabbit." She pulled me into the living room, where her twin brother Karl was sitting on the rug surrounded by enough Beanie Babies to entertain five pre-schools. I took the animal that Karen handed me. "Aww, what a cute bunny," I said.

"Sergeant Bunny. He's a master." Karl said, completley seriously.

"Oh. A master of what?"

"War."

"Um...oh. Well, why don't i leave Sergeant Bunny here for a second." I walked over to the frige and grabbed a Coke. Katherine (Karl and Karen's mom) had babysat me up until i was like 11 years old, so i was allowed to do stuff like that. It's not like i even made she or her husband Kyle (yes, they have the whole cutesy K thing going on) pay me or anything. Technically my mom won't let me ask them, but it kind of makes sense since we're friends and stuff. Plus, i have a job at the ice cream place.

Anyway, even if we werent friends, i didnt want to fall asleep again. The last time that happened, it was disasterous. Think Sharpies and Silly String. I hadnt even had any caffine all day, so the whole Coke thing was definatley necessary. I squeezed my eyes shut as i remembered the stupid, stupid events of the day.

"Oh. It's YOU," he had said, a little sneer on his face. I pretty much wanted to hit him, but i HAD just spilled an iced beverage all over him. I didnt really get to be angry.

"Yeah, i guess so," I said, picking up the bottle and throwing it in a trash can. "Sorry about...that. I don't have the best coordination."

"I can see that. But whatever. I'm pretty much used to being assulted by you now."

"Okay, come on. It was two times, and one was an accident. Plus, i hardly think that having coffee spilled on you counts as assult. I'm sorry, but there's nothing i can do about it, and the bell is going to ring soon." I turned around and walked to my study hall. Actually, kind of more like ran. I took my usual seat in the second to last row next to Hannah. She peered at me curiously. "Why is your face going all weird like that?"

"Like what?"

"Like you just swallowed something disgusting." So i told her the story, complete with Mr. Combat Boots's reaction when I elbowed him. She started cracking up as the teacher walked in and started calling roll.

"Hannah Gilbert?"

"Here."

"Mylie Herdman?"

"Here," I yelled.

"Luke Hull?"

"Here." Ugh. I turned around, and sitting behind me was Mr. Combat Boots, a.k.a. Luke. When he saw me, the permanent smirk on his face grew a couple of centimeters. I snapped my head around to the front of the room.

What's wrong? Hannah mouthed.

It's HIM, I mouthed back. She immediatley turned around and studied him for a straight thirty seconds. Then she held up nine fingers and smiled.

I shook my head as violently as i could without giving myself whiplash. In Hannah language, that meant that he was a nine out of ten on our Hotness Chart (have i mentioned how boring study hall gets?). One is Mr. Thomas, the gross old Tech Ed teacher in middle school. Ten is Hayden Christensen. I did NOT want Luke to be cute.

Although he was kind of attractive, in that poseur, shaggy-hair way. If you liked that kind of thing. Which i didnt. But when i looked back, he looked at me like he knew exactly what we were talking about. And study hall went by and i ran out of there so fast i think i left tire tracks. This was very, very stupid. Only the first week of school and i had already made an enemy who could probably pound my face in. Great.

I walked back into the living room, but Karen and Karl werent there. "You guys?"

"What?" I heard Karen yell.

"Where are you?"

"Looking for Wormy! I can't find him!" She came running down the stairs just as Karl came out of the basement and locked the door behind him.

"Karl, do you know where Wormy is?"

"I locked him in the basement," he said.

"Why?"

"He hit Officer Squirrel in the head. I can let him out, but only on parole."

Seriously. Why do I even bother?

Tuesday, September 12, 2006

Blog Story, P1

The impossibly hot doctor walked out of the operating room. He ran a hand through his hair as he looked down the hallway. There was an impossibly attractive woman sitting at the end of the hallway, the harsh flourescent lights of the hospital hitting her face at exactly the right angle. He walked down the hall, each step heavier than the last. The woman looked up.

"Brett! Is everything okay?"

"I have good news and bad news."

"Tell me, Bett! I can take it!"

"The good news is that the brain sugery was sucessful. Your husband is going to make it, Elizabeth."

"Oh, Brett, I knew you caould do it! But...what's the bad news?"

"He lost his memory. He doesnt remember you."

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!"

And that was when i turned off the TV.

"I mean, COME on. What kind of cheap, screw-up doctor is that?" I asked my friend Jessica later, as we walked down the sidewalk eating popcorn. "I wouldnt have cried and thrown myself at the doctor. It's his fault. I would have sued their asses is what i would have done."

"Oh, but isnt it romantic? She gets together with the doctor in the next season, you know," Jessica said, tripping over the curb.

"Um, come on. That's SO stupid. You know she's only doing it because he's hot. That doctor made her husband lose his mind. Or at least part of it. I don't know what you see in those stupid soap operas."

"It's a drama," she corrected me.

"It's completley unrealistic. Everything that happens has so much MEANING. Like, if this was a soap opera, every time you tripped a tanned surfer from Europe who's in the States visiting his evil twin who's pretending to be a grandmother would catch you and say "I love you"."

"Well...that did happen in season one."

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The next day was monday, a stupid assembly about someone once again graffiti-ing all over Gregory The Griffon, our school's big, useless stone mascot who resides right by the front stairs leading up to the building.

It's said that he was once actually, like, stone-colored, but that's chalked up to urban legend because not even my grandma was alive when he wasnt multicolored from all of the spraypaint, silly string, and the occasional cherry soda.

Apparently they WILL be looking for the person who did it this time. Although you can hardly tell the new graffiti from the old at this point. Plus, since this is a small town and all, all the teachers went to this school, and all of them have grafittied Gregory. The only reason they're making such a big deal about this is that our principal, Dr. Jones, is all wired from teaching in a school in the city. She thinks that everything is a conspiracy, and maybe in the city or the suburbs it would be. But, hello, this was Woodland. We werent anything really, not a suburb or a city or the country. It's basically boring here, kind of like the neighborhoods in Napolean Dynamite, but not in Indiana.

Personally, i think that she's just bored. Dr. Jones, i mean. She yelled at me this one time for being five minutes late and tried to make it look like i was off smoking pot in the bathrooms or something.

Like anyone could ever get pot in Woodland.

Anyways, I slid into the seat next to Jessica balencing my iPod and a full can of diet Coke (our school is copying all the big suburban ones and getting rid of sugary drinks and candy bars in the soda machine). "What'd I miss?"

"Paul's on crack, Todd's a spy for the CIA, and Marcia's father is actually Tom Cruise," she said, counting off on her fingers for every accusation that our pscyco German teacher had made before i walked in (a minute early, might i add).

"Poor her," I said about the whole Marcia thing. She actually DOES look a little like Tom Cruise.

How unfortunate.

Suddenly, something touched my back. I turned around and came face to face with a big, smelly pair of combat boots.

"Um," I said to the person attached to the boots, a huge, trying-to-be-tough-looking guy. "Can you move your feet?"

He loooked at me with a little, superior smirk. "Make me."

Wrong answer.

I smiled very sweetly, then jabbed my elbow into his leg.

He jumped and took his feet off the chair, but i'm pretty sure that was an accident. Judging by the way his face was turning that very interesting color of maroon.

"You bi-"

"Excuse me, students! May I have your attention please?"

The noise went down about half a decibal.

"People! Quiet!"

I settled back into the seat and watched Jones try to quiet everything down. Nothing like some great entertainment to start the day.

Top 25!! OOHHH What NOW?!?!?!

I have decided that i'm going to try to go in a new-ish direction, now that i've had 100 posts worth of emo. A mid-blog crisis, if you will.

So tomorrow i'm swallowing my fear that everything i write is complete and utter crap, and i'm putting a story up on here. today, i have nada to say, so i'm just going to post a list i made a WHILE ago.

Top 25 Ways to Go Crazy or Just Be Really Annoying:
By A to the L to the I

1.Search "the" on Google. And laugh as about 24,070,000,000 responses come up, the first one being "The onion"
2.Watch Zoolander every single day at least twice a day for a week or more.
3.Go around and tell people that they look like Ben Affleck. Laugh at the amount of people who believe you.
4.Look up Chester A. Arthur online, find a picture of him, print it out, and say, “He’s a hottie. I wanna marry him,” to everyone who walks by.
5.Dance like Kim.
6.Imitate the guy at the beginning of “Gold Digger”. Have someone who can’t rap at all be Kanye West.
7.If you have a guy and girl friend who hate/have no romantic interest in each other who are standing near each other, yell, “You’re going out?!?!?” really, REALLY loud.
8.Open up a cafeteria mini-tub of butter and tell a friend that it smells funny. Once they lean down, smush their nose in it.
9. If a girl friend runs up to you in a crowded hallway and says, “I have to tell you something,” yell, “YOU’RE PREGNANT???”
10 If somebody says a word that’s in a song, sing the song starting with that word.
11. Imitate Inigo Montoya saying, “HELLO!!”
12.Eat Poppin’ Chocolate Coins from the Lunchables snack packs.
13.Get so hyper off Chocolate Coins that a teacher refers you to the guidence councelor because she thinks that you’re high.
14.When the person in the grocery store asks you “Paper or plastic?” say, “Plastic. No, wait, paper. No, wait, plastic. No, wait, paper…I mean…plastic. I mean…could I have paper wrapped in plastic?”
15. Look for exact change.
16.Call up a pizza place and ask for the place next door. Keep calling. Then when they give you the number of the place next door, say, “Oh, this IS the pizza place? I wanted a [whatever the store next door sells] with double cheese, please.”
17.Eat Pop Rocks and drink soda.
18. tYp3 L1k3 tl-l1S.
19. Pretend to be a computer.
20. Say, “I’m sorry, I don’t speak English. Just American.”
21. When your substitute asks, “Any questions?” raise your hand and ask very sweetly, “Where do babies come from?”
22. Yell, “PRETTY BIRD” whenever anyone says anything to you all day.
23. Type in white font.
24. Buy a dance ticket, then blow your nose in it and say, “wow, that was the best $3 Kleenex ever! Thanks!”
25. Write a list like this one.

Monday, September 11, 2006

Ali's SuperCool 100th post Celebration!!!

That's right people, 100 posts. I feel like i should make a speech...

Four score and twenty posts ago, the founder of this blog (me) introduced "C'est Moi" to the public.

Actually, it's more like unsespectingly launched on the poor, innocent public, but whatever.

This blog was mostly about me being emo and cursing out the Template dealio when i would change my layout (AGAIN) and it would delete my links. No matter how many times i changed my layout, I would always manage to do that. Even though the stuff i was doing wasnt as interesting as it could have been (if the gilmore girls marathons, obsessions over Jones Soda, and endless talk of Canada and Sasquatches over the summer was any indication), you guys actually read my blog. Of course, it's not like i'm sam and tim, who routinely get 5 bajillion comments (probably because sam is rarely emo and tim never is), but still. It ROCKS, being able to get heard without having to scream in someone's ear (*cough*middle school *cough*).

I think that I have probably used enough parenthases to last a lifetime, and had more names than most blogs ever did. C'est Moi, Randomesque, Total Violation of Logic, Confessions of a Teenage Drama Geek, Rhapsody in Pink, Rhapsody in PURPLE (after i dyed my hair) and I <3 Cherry Soda, in that order.

So, to ende this great (not) speech, let's all scream at the same time: "HERE'S TO 100 MORE POSTS, AND THAT ALI GETS THE ROLL IN THE BEST CHRISTMAS PAGENT EVER THAT SHE WANTS!!"

Sunday, September 10, 2006

It's Just a Ride, It's Just a Ride

Another song title.

So I'm auditioning for The Best Christmas Pagent Ever 2day. I'm not too nervous because, hello, it's soooo much better acting in front of a bunch of people (or even, like, one, depending on how they work the auditions) that i've never met before in my life and will probably never meet ever than people from my school, no matter how many or how few of them they are. My parents officially stressed my sister by listing all of the bad things that could/would happen if we get roles (ex: emma has soccer and drum lessons, i have marching band on one of the nights of rehersal, etc.) and i'm sitting there like "We might not even get roles!!! Act now, stress later!!!"

So i have to go take a shower and find a picture of myself where i don't have purple hair, bangs, or a weird smile. Byeaz!

Saturday, September 09, 2006

Football Games, Chain Letters, And One Very Excellent Cup of Apple Juice

So i went and marched in the marching band thingy. It was fun, besides the fact that my suspenders (yes, we have to wear those) fell off at the end. But whatevs. The flutes were all, DANCE!

Then i wake up this morning, and i have this LOVELY chain letter sitting in my mailbox about how much God hates me or something, entitled "From Satan". That made me mad, but it scared me so i sent it on. And now i'm like GRRR! Because i'm not a bad person, just a kid. And those letters are stupid. And obviously made up by someone who has a holier-than-thou (no pun intended) attitude. Well, whoever made that up should REALLY go to hell. Whatever.

Apple juice with lemon-lime seltzer in it is really super good. Just had to add that there.

Thursday, September 07, 2006

Beleted Bdays Rock...

MY SOCKS!!! Haha spiffy is a cool word. Like the ever-spiffy Fanglyman cloud on my shirt. He's the cutest!!! of course, i love the smiley clouds and the smiley sun, too. they're all my babies. But the Fanglyman is just SO CUTE!!

But to the beleted bday part: my aunt sent me presents! YAAAAAY! i got some lip glosses and some books and a superspiffy Wicked t-shirt that she got in nyc. it says "Defy Gravity" with a green e cuz elphaba's my favorite. Ooh! and official "Elphaba Earrings" *Struts around in spiffy offical-ness* And my locker is opening!!!!! YES! it is no longer misunderstood. And i'm sharing my band locker with 4 PEOPLE ZOMG and i got the DINKLES i.e. marching band shoes for those of you in the know. i havent tried them on yet but my mom just did and she yelled "These are so comfortable! I'll take these Dinkles!!" And i laughed.

Yesterday i told hans that i loved his baton and it was spiffy and he thought i was serious. Then he threw it like 10 ft in the air and caught it. One of those days that baton WILL fall on his head. And i will be there. And i will laugh.

Wednesday, September 06, 2006

Evil Locks

My lock isnt evil, just misunderstood. But my patience is slowly running out. i mean, WHY CAN'T I OPEN IT??? or, rather, WHY IS IT THAT I CAN OPEN IT ONE TIME, PUT ALL MY STUFF IN IT, AND THEN CAN'T OPEN IT THE NEXT TIME I TRY!?!?!?!? urg. sam can open it. kathleen can open it. emily can open it. the frogs can open it. why can't i!?!?!?!?!? Then i went to band practice and talked to justine some and told her about how much my lock hates me. it's saaaaad. i'm very sensitive to inanimate objects hating me.

Tuesday, September 05, 2006

High School

Yeah, so, stuffs. I went to high school today. Everyone is interrogating me. i have stuffs with people.. and. yeah. i'm tired. just read sam's blog. how depressing.

Monday, September 04, 2006

The Most Memorable Moments of Summer

  • Spending hours in the guest cabin on Jamie's island, playing endless tournements of Mario Tennis and drinking soda (it reeeked of creme and grape soda in there).
  • "I'm a Canadian! I'm a Canadian!"
  • Bonfires
  • Will's new catchphrases: Sasquatch/BAFFOON/BACHwheat/Batman/Canadian/You stanky!!
  • Corning Glass Factory
  • My first bottle of Jones
  • IMing people for like 3 hrs straight
  • Brad&Tyler's
  • Rita's custards
  • Emma's insane b-day par-tay (ouija!! ZOMG)
  • Numa Numa
  • "I don't like you!" "I DON'T LIKE YOU EITHER!!"
  • The lip sync
  • The murder mystery
  • Steve the Captain of the Football Team
  • Talking in questions
  • "Oh woe is us! Oh woe is us!"
  • "I'm not talking to this reject." "I'm not talking to THIS reject." "Oh yeah?!?" "YEAH!"
  • Theatre camp in general
  • Dying my hair purple, then having everyone think it was red, then have it completley fade out over the course of Band Camp
  • The flute-ish pizza party, but with julie and sam and carissa and katie c. and people who weren't flutes at all
  • The much more organized flute DINNER
  • Band crushes
  • Getting a phone
  • MY BDAY!!!
  • Obsessivley texting kim and then getting molly into it (HAH).
  • Everyone having Sexyback for their ringtone and me dying because of that.
  • Putting rhinestones on my Razer
  • SWIMMING!
  • Not going to the Phillies game and watching 7th Heven over the fone with emily and then kim.
  • Going up to WVcabin with Grace and Maeve...good times, good times.
  • The American Idol concert, and being tricked into thinking we werent going...lol.
  • Buying tons of songs for my IPOD haHA
  • Blogging, blogging...
  • Doing nothing for weeks on a time
  • Gilmore Girls marathons!
  • Will sleeping in my room almost every night and us flipping out at each other
  • "Sam! Jeff! No PDA!"
  • Crash Bandicoot and the ghosts.
  • Watching tons of music videosw/emma and will, and mocking almost every one besides the wonderful OK Go treadmills!
  • Making up alternative lyrics to Hillary Duff songs
  • Throwing water balloons off the steps, and then making them huge and throwing them straight up in the air. Haha.
  • Sleeping in the basement with Zoe and Emma, then sleeping in Ben's room and freaking emma out with a swivel chair
  • obsessivley changing my blog's name/layout
  • Caffine!
  • The rope swing

And now...it's over....*cries*

Sunday, September 03, 2006

EW

Sri just sent me pictures of dead baby seals. Why? i don't know. Did i delete it immediatley after seeing baby seals ripped apart? YES! so sorry that i didnt do the petition or w/e, I. HATE. BLOOD.

I went to the mall once yesterday and once today. I got a shirt, shoes, an umbrella and a jawbreaker yesterday and a cute t-shirt, earrings, a couple of pairs of jeans and Big Leauge Chew (i LOVE that stuff) today.

Then my sister and i made up alternative lyrics to fergie's (quite sucky) song "London Bridge." Sample lyric: "How come every time you come around/ i punch you in the face and you go down".

Well, my brother calls upon me to make a quiz for him. To the randomness!

Friday, September 01, 2006

Wow...

Band camp is over. I don't know whether to say "Finally!" or "Really?" It was good for me to go, just because i met all these people, and i got to see sam and tim and matt and molly and katy and peeps. Now i'm going to the mall tomorrow with julie, molly, and maybe sara, hillary and katy. (The flute bunch! No, wait, Julie is color guard.) The first time (can you beevle it?!?!?) ALL SUMMER. And the thing is, summer is almost over. I know that having homework and stressing about English and especially science and math won't be too fun, but getting to see people will be decent. Ello, Devon, Emily, Jordan, and Jen (smith) are all in my homeroom, even tho i have zero classes with the first three. The thing is, this all seems so...now. September to about November seems like the most distant time ever. I can't listen to exactly 70 songs on my iTunes list without thinking about that time. Songs are weird. They remind me of the times that i listened to them. So now whenever i listen to "Hung Up" by Madonna i remember driving to the pumpkin patch or walking along the bus circle, and i shudder and turn it off.

So...what will the song be this year? I can't pick any i really like if it's a bad year, but i need good songs for good memories. whatever. The point of this is...I REALLY NEED TO SHOP!!