Thursday, November 30, 2006

Imperfection, Chapter 3

I walked into Melissa's appartment at around 6:30 that night. She and her mom were sitting there sewing way faster than it should be humanly possible to do. The dresses themselves were, in a word, revolting. They were a mixture of orange, green and brown, all twisted around, with a big pouf that was apparently supposed to resemble leaves sticking out of the bottom.

"Bridesmaid dresses?" I asked. "Yes," they answered at the same exact time, not even looking up. It was scary how similar they were. Short, blonde hair (but Melissa couldnt stand it, so she dyed hers), the same exact laugh. And a tendancy to go into these little spacey things where they would, say, forget that it was 6:30 and they could stop.

"Uhh...6:30..." I said, but neither of them appeared to hear me. They were in their own little world. I thought about waving my hands in front of Melissa's face, but considering that she was looking straight down, with her hands next to a moving needle, this wouldnt be the best idea. So clicked the lights on and off until they got the hint.

"Oh, sorry," Melissa said, switching off the machine. "Mom, i'm gonna..." She trailed off an looked at her mom, still sewing. "You know what, she'll figure it out. Let's go."

We both walked down through the store, where there were still some people lingering about. "Hey, Theresa?"

The girl behind the counter looked up from the tabletop, where she had been doing something weird with the cash register. "Yeah?"

"If you hear any sort of breaking glass or explosions from upstairs, call 911, okay?"

"Sure," Theresa responded, totally calmly. She was used to having to take care of things, what with Lilly (Melissa's mom) and Melissa being, well, them.

We walked outside. The light wasnt even dim yet, but the streetlights were on. No one really ever bothers with that sort of thing in Annica Hill, changing the times that the streetlights go on, because it's so small here, and really people arent much concerned about it anyways. As usual, Melissa was leading the way. I was pretty sure that she didnt know where she was going, but she walked fast in a straight line, talking the entire time.

Then I spotted it. A sort of off-color splotch in the distance. It was moving, and you could hear music. I hate my glasses (ugly) and the idea of contacts disgusts me (touching your EYEBALL? Are you SERIOUS?), so I basically walk around pretty much blind all the time.

I asked Melissa, who could see just fine, "What is that?"

"That what?"

"That slightly off-color blob right...there."

She stood on her toes for a better look. Then she smiled a big, slightly evil smile, and said one word.


Now, before I go any further, let me explain to you about Melissa, and why that word was so scary coming out of her mouth. Melissa is both cynnical and naive at the same time. She'll pretend to have a clue when she doesnt, and she'll act stupid when she's already five steps ahead of everyone else. She won't sing in front of people, but she will rap. She'll seek out anything you do well and compliment you or make it positive, but she thinks nothing of herself. She gives the best advice, but her own life, while not a mess, is definatley of the disorganized heap variety. She's outspoken and argumentive to a fault but can suck up with the best of them when absoloutley necessary. She's bossy but can't stand authority figures. She mocks the Couples but wants to find something like that (just not so disgusting). She's sarcastic but poetic. I tower over her (she's only five feet tall), but she always takes the lead in everything. I can't talk to someone unless i've known them since i was five, but she can talk to anyone. Basically, she's one huge contradiction wrapped into a convinient human-shaped package.

And at these parties, she is always snapped up by someone who's crying or needs advice and she gives it to them because she says that it's all so obvious that she just has to tell them.

And i'm standing here like a stone because i know that the second i walk over here that will happen.

"Hey, come on!"

She's off and running, straight towards the blob. And i had no choice but to follow.


And two hours later, there i was, sitting on The Wall (right by The Hill), waiting for it to be 10 already so Melissa could stop advice-ing and we could go.

So i'm not a party girl. Like i didnt already know that.

I scanned the little gathering. Some people i knew from school. Some were wedding kids, burning time and the occasional cigarette before Saturday, two days from now, when they would have to get pretty and take pictures.

It looked like okay fun, and yet here i was, sitting here on the wall. I looked over to my right and noted with some surprise that i wasnt the only reject sitting here. There was some random guy with brown hair sitting about ten feet down. And he looked a little familiar.

He saw me looking and waved. It seemed so stupid that i waved back, and he moved over right next to me.


"Hey," I replied. "Do I...know you from somewhere?"

"I dunno, maybe." "Were you...hmm..." He looked up like the answer was going to fall out of the sky and hit him on the face. "Were you in my AP French 3 class?"

I thought back to that stupid class, with the teacher giving us big speeches about "AP leval behavior". Guys are always going to throw spitballs and paper footballs, okay? Get over it. And in the back of my mind, i remembered zoning out (not like i didnt know all that already) and staring at the brown haired head of the kid in front of me.

"Oh yeah. Yeah, i sat behind you."

"You're Catie."


"Hi, Catie."

"Hi, Dan."

He smiled a little.

"That class was a bitch. You were good at it, though."

"Mrs. Ericson was a bitch. And it's not that big a deal. I'm fluent. That's my only AP class. I use the time to do my Lit homework."

"Really?" He looked at me like he didnt beleive it. "What, you lived in France or something?"

"No." I took a deep breath like i always do before telling anyone this. "See, my dad is Cambodian, Japanese and French, but he was raised in England. My mom is Italian, Sweedish and English, but she was born in France. My dad learned French when he went there to internwith some pastry-type dude. They met there, they moved here, they opened a bakery, they had my sistersm, they had me, and here we are." I stopped. "Why am I telling you this?"

"I...I couldnt say." He looked a little stunned. Like I said, I'm not exactly a "people person", but when, on the occasion i don't run and hide from someone, i explode on them a little.

"Yeah, guess you couldnt." I didnt know what else to say, so i looked down at my shoes. Pink and black Converse High Tops. A little out there for Ringwald High School (where I go), where preppy is de reguer for most, but they're cute. The shoes, i mean. In a town as small as Annica Hill, high tops are as big of a rebellion as you can make without a drivers licencse.

And then i realized that he was wearing them too. High tops, i mean. And not pink and black, but red. He seemed to notice our similar choice in footwear, because he tilted his head toward my feet and said "Nice tops."

"Thanks. Yours too. I have a pair just like them."

"Like, I totally have a pair of those too!" he said in an exaggerated valley girl accent.

I laughed. "Soo...what brings you to the bustling metropolis that is Annica Hill?" Was that me? I never said things like that. That was Melissa's job. "I'm guessing you don't live here, or i would know."

He laughed, surprising me. "Yeah, no, I mean, I live in Westbrook." A good ten minutes away. "My brother works here though. The picture place. He wanted to meet some girl here." Dan jerked his head over towards a slightly familiar-looking guy who was making out with a girl who appeared to be one of the Baums on Miss-Caroline-Amber-yes-ma'am's family. Miss Lucinda Louise, a.k.a. Cindy Lou Who, Southern Belle Extrordenaire (Melissa's name. She has a thing for making up names for people). "He did."

"I can see that."

"And you?" He asked, averting his gaze from the graphic scene that was playing out in front of us.


"Who dragged YOU here?"

"Oh, right. It was Melissa." I pointed at her. She was still consoling the weepy girl who i had never seen, and i'm pretty sure she hadnt either. "She's one of those psyciatry types."

He laughed AGAIN. I'm sorry, you must have me mistaken for someone who's funny. "I'm eagerly awaiting curfew like the nerd I've been accused of being."

"Yeah, well, join the club," he said. "The high-top-wearing, party-hating club." Then he held out one high-top-clad foot towards me. "Converse solidarity."

It was weird, but whatever. I touched my shoe to his.

There wasnt any spark of electricity shooting up my leg or anything like that. I kind of wanted there to be, just so i could have one of those romance-novel moments. But it didnt and i didnt. I just laughed.

"Catie! Thank God. We should go."

I stared at Melissa in total shock. "But it's only 9:45." She stretches curfew to the last minute every night.

"Yeah, well, this girl has a stupidity level to rival a certain Ms. Hilton's. How many times can you say that he broke up with her?" She glanced at Dan quickly. "Hi. Dan, right? Oh God, Catie, she's coming." She pulled me to my feet.

"Um, alright. Bye," I said to Dan. And oddly enough, i didnt want to leave. I wanted to sit there for the last fifteen minutes and talk about Converse solidarity and what kind of machine that you would have to use to get his brother off of Miss Cindy Lou Who. I wanted to tell him about the nickname, too.

But Melissa's like a tornado. You just have to get spun up into her crazy ciclone and hope she deposits you at your house instead of Oz (or worse, Kansas), because then you have to deal with munchkins singing at you and Glinda and uncomfortable sequin 80's-esque shoes that won't come off (the biggest nightmare ever) and a witch with a major grudge. Although I totally beleive in the whole Elphaba, wicked-witch-was-framed version in Wicked.

"See you," he said. And who knows, maybe i would have processed it.

But then Melissa grabbed my arm and started running and i stopped thinking and concentrated on making my feet go as fast as hers.

Wednesday, November 29, 2006


Dunno if i spelled that right.

I have all of chapter 3 and most of chapter 4. Chapter 4 is fun to write, because i introduce Emmalee and Erin, twin sisters extrordanaire. It's cool because...well i won't ruin it. It's just that they're twins but they're not drones, and they have very fun personalities to write about. Emmalee is an evil bitch fairie of death, and Erin is her brainless yes-girl, A.K.A. her Jules. Long story.

So my french teacher finally cracked. Screamed a bunch. I laughed. Then we did some thing in social studies where we divided up into three groups to represent the religious devisions in Iraq. We had the Sports Players (Shiites), the Musicians (Kurds, i was part of this group), and the Miscellaneous (Sunnis). We had to have different languages and different beleifs and a leader/spokesperson.

Now, i am not exactly the most outspoken in class because some of the people intimidate me. But when i'm with a bunch of the "musicians", they're all my friends or people who i'm not afraid of. So since i talk the loudest of all of them, i made most of the rules. And when mr. holmes said "pick your spokesperson", they all picked me except stu cuz he wanted to be it. *sticks out tounge*. but seriously, even travis picked me, and one of the rules that i made was "travis may not talk under any circumstances." then guys acted like borat and kissed behind mr. holmes's back and a girl started speaking Iclandic..

Just another average day.

Saturday, November 25, 2006


We are...the white hot chilly penguins!!! "I'm the hot. He's the white." lol ignore that.

We are...stupid. They put the entire drumstick in my room. Wait drumstick?? Drum SET. now they wanna move my stero and i'm like "in a word, no. in two words, no way."

We are...the most insane family ever. Not really. Us kids are insano. We have listened to Fergalicious 77 times on the compy and at least 30 on the cd that i stupidly made. Now i have to do "Dirty Little Secret" and "Move Along." I also have to take a shower but i can't until like forever because emma is in one and abby is in the other. Then I'm going to try to bribe someone with a license to take me to the WaWa for batteries. It's only like a mile away. I could walk but it's on a huge curvy hilly road. If one of my aunts or uncles say "walk there" i will scream.

We are...taking so many pix on my phone. But we need to take one on my camera since my fone has crappy quality. Luke is wearing a marching band coat and hat. Andy is wearing sunglasses. Abby is going to wear my tinkerbell costume (if i can find it) and a side ponytail. Emma is wearing a plaid skirt, jeans, a gray shirt, purple lipstick and a "nose ring" that's actually a stick-on rhinestone. I'm wearing the dress i wore to the dance, my superhigh tops, a tie and an army hat. Oh, and lipstick.

We are...ready to go. Byeaz!

Friday, November 24, 2006


Things are suck right now. Luke hid the dartboard and andy wants to find it and luke is giving him clues. "you're cold. warm. warmer. hot! hot! you're like burning inferno man!"

Everyone else got presents and stuff. Maybe i did too. Maybe i didnt. Whatevvvvvvvvvvs.

Oh hey i did. I got a bag. It's khaki. It matches Ello's jacket! Study hallllll....

I am seriously beginning to regret buying Fergalicious. No wait. I'm past beginning to regret it. I REGRET it. I don't know why i even DID it, much less why i made luke and andy a cd with it or showed them where the damn boom box was. HERRRRRRGGGG!!

So. Stuff. Stuff. Stuff. Stuffffff.....i ran out of words. Luke can talk.

look, im making words hahaha. im slow just so everybody knows... teehee.

Blue is me. me is Andy. umm forgot what i was gonna say

he kept writing men is andy....... hahahe. ummm ummm HI.!.??▲├Ñ╚]§ ó
^^^ see what i mean? teeheehahetee.

i like adding stuff. i mean crap teehee.

I like my man blue. Im goin downstairs.

to do what *winks*

micheal jackson....0_o

CÄ47æ7ææ657~≥4○5897E8767╙56Y7654o65○87654f87"87546>fff‼█4ÄA 1Ä»█▀e╖├Ä.█A§654│D{ weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEeeeeeeeeeeeeeeEEEEEEEEEEE whats gona mess what up? i cfant type......... asee? lmaoo.................................................

i think that's a family charachteristic luke. my cousin ryan is screaming and crying. luke looks at him like"...hi." and all during that ^^ he was like "WOAH a line!! WOAH a block!! WOAH.....ANOTHER LINE!!"

well its hard to pretend yur andy because his writing is blue and mine is red............ teehee......!

you could just change the color.

i knoed. i l i k e s p a c e s . i l i k e m y s p a c e s . . . . . . . . . . . . . .................... .................... ......Å. HAH the dot went on top of the A...funny.

That is possibly the coolest A i have ever seen ever. Besides like everything

hi im ali...... nvm lol.

see i'm smarter than the boy who threw the basketball in the lake (almost)

well....... im smarterer.... so ha....HA ............ HA

that took way too much effort to make that ha really big....alksdfisdjkldsfjklk. there. wait i still don't feel better. asdfsdfiosdfjiosdfjioIO;AWEFJSUKX,ERCIOWERIOP FCJIOPs. I'm better.

ya ........ ^ what a noob..... noob, newb smae difrence.

Smae!! That's almost as cool as Douge.

omg douge, the pimpsta lol............................... i like ffr. haha haha ha ha ahhahahaaaaaa
no really? ya i like ffr..... nuhuh.... yuhuh.... arguing with yourself is SO MUCH FUN wooooooohhhhhoooooooooooooooo
^that reminds me of sims2 lmao, inside joke.

bleahg. Mom+Douge 4eva. Not MY mom or anything.....Ace Young is singing about being naked. Here's why this song makes no sense: he says "let me be your father figure" and then says the lyrics "lying warm and naked by your side." so you can assume that this person regularly gets naked with their father. to which i say. EW.

heres what i say about this^: i forgot what i wa gona say.. hold does sombodies dad go make love to them....... unless yur a purv,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,, <

#of words spelled wrong there: 6

oh... lol well i like being stupid omg its fun. um this song is retarded.

oh i know and it goes on FOREVER. Actually it's about to end....wait for it...wait for it...wait for iiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiit......there!! ace young is such a whiner.

you meant man-whore*


i was waiting...... for what? i dont nowe. knoe, know! ya thats right eh? no im not canadian..... im just aposer... =D yay im normal again! woohoo, god damnit i sopell everything worng!!!!!!!!!?!!!!!!!!!!!

that ? looks very lonely. I'll make him some friends. ????? my 1 yr old cousin is taking away the boom box. why is he unsupervised again? he just took out the cd and almost broke it...hee.

haha im a sack of potatoes...........

yeah cuz andy likes to pick you up and throw you over his shoulder wink wink.

was that a dis?!


i think it was! the lights went off omg! =D ill make it huge! i dont know what to say now, wheres andy? ali says go get andy so ill brb......

what to do, what to music just said "who" and i typed "who to do" by accident. The lights went out and me and luke turned around and looked at my uncle at the exact same time liek "..." And luke can do the same hair flip as me!!!

I cant do that hair flip
Do it Ali
no way

They're trying to get me to watch a tom cruise movie. My escape artist cousin is rolling up OH SHIZZ he just totally escaped on his own. only not cuz well....eherm. he had a bit of assistance from someone who TOTALLY wasnt andy.

totally...... lol
i can do the emo hair flippy thingy hahaha. that reminds me of this girl in my school who everybody thinks she emo..... hahaha well she has those like.... arm thingys that you wear like on yur wrist? and stuff..... like the hair over one eye.,.. that reminds me of when i used to be emo, it was pretty fun hahaf»ºÅÿF2▼2nh↑⌠4K47954•4J

Luke is doing his emo dance. He just made that that little screen pop up that says "HELP AND STUFF". Luke has just had the shocking revelation that you can get dizzy from headbanging. To which i say, welcome to me and kim's little club.

i wana be in the club.... yay im in cool the headbangers club, i love this club you all should be in this club....................

club club club. wow this is LONG. Ryan was playing with a dartboard. Greaaaaaaaat. So i'm gonna go throw things at tom cruises head. Luke wanna come?

how come ali is black...... lol that sounded wierd ............. BYYEYEYYEE

SO i had to add this:

Luke: Can YOU lick your hair Andy? huh? can you? *licks hair*
Me: I can lick MY hair! *licks hair*
LuKe: LoOk Im lIcKiNg My hAiR HAHAHA *licks hair*
Andy: *attempts to lick hair*
Luke: You could lick your hair, you'd just have to cut it off first.

Thursday, November 23, 2006

Early Postage


Hello, sun.

Oh wait.

My mistake.

There is no sun.

There is rain.

I don't want to go to marching band.

I don't want to go anywhere.

I want to stay where I am, which is sitting down here in my "living" room (most living does not go on here, as you're not even allowed to put your feet on the couches) in flannel pj pants and a big fleece blanket.

Cousins are coming today.

The potatoes have grown evil little mutants.

Oh wait.

My dad says they're called eyes.

My brother just came. He says hello. Then he asked my dad why he was chopping up erasers.

They weren't erasers.

They were sweet potatoes.

And now i will give you the cousin lowdown in order of age: Andy Luke Abby Thomas Ashton Jake Kyle Ryan. All of the A's are siblings, luke and thomas are siblings, and the last three are siblings. Ages range from 14 (me) to 1 (ryan). That's right. I am the oldest. That is not not not not good.

Because guess who gets blamed for all of the chaos?


Chapter 3 is taking a while, srry about that one.

Wednesday, November 22, 2006

My System

This is how I read my books: I start out with Without You (autobiography of Anthony Rapp where everyone dies). When that gets too depressing, I turn to Nick and Nora's Infinite Playlist. As soon as Nick starts talking (and generally emo-ing all over the place), i go to Inkspell. When that gets confusing, I either A. Go back to the first book, Inkheart, and look up whatever it was and then continue, or B. go back to Nick and Nora. If neither of those are too depressing, after a while, I go back to Without You.

I have recently realized that i must be a very annoying person to watch a movie with. A few minutes ago (20 to be exactly exact) i finished watching Men in Black (it was on TV) for the first time with my brother and sister, during which i kept commenting on the ugliness of the suits and why the heck the aliens always have to take the GIRL and put a gun to her head instead of shooting the guys who are standing there like "Derrrr", and i kept figuring out the plot before stuff actually happened because movies are intensely predictable and yelling out "OOH! I know what's gonna happen!" and telling my bro and sis what was going to happen and then i held a pillow in front of my head for the last ten or so minutes of the movie until they thought the alien was dead but then he was moving and i started yelling "He's coming up behind you! He's coming up behind--" and then it popped up and i gave a piercing shreik and hid my face in the couch. Then they changed the suits at the end and guess what? They were uglier.

Cousins are coming 2morrow. Yerg.

Tuesday, November 21, 2006

Boredom and How Crazy It Can Make You

okay so will is here and he is bored. When will is bored he starts to beat on me and my sister. so i decided to let them post on my blog instead of throwing each other. Okay? Okay. As per usual, will is orange, emma is purple.

everybody stinks that means you ali's freind. BHHAHHAHAHAHAHAHA!MULE pelvick thrust!!! you are repugnent. (that was the part that he typed. then i jsut started typing whatever he said.) AAAAH (sasquatch yell). Uhh, you can yell 'master' i guess. Oh yeah, and i need to type something. (will typing) whoever is reading this Ali is weird. (me typing) Reading me? Uhh sure. Alright, it's emma's turn.

Emma, it's your turn. Emma. Emma! She's being beaten. Emma, you can write now. Okay, here she comes. Will, get off her leg.

He's trying to attack my leg! it's funny. but that sounds gross. Will, stop trying to attack my leg. *sounds of mass fighting* OW! You little--! *screams something incomprehensible that i can't type fast enough to get* You little toot like a fruit! (?????) It seemed right at the time cuz it rhymed. Hey, that rhymes too! Time, rhyme...not really. (okay now emma is going to type.) i am mass restler! Brother to annoying, cant stand wierdness, must fight back!!!! Srry bout that dog, but yeah watever. Bored......Bye Peoples. Two JEFFSSSS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

well, that was counterproductive. let's see, let's see...ooh quotes from The Grim Adventures of Billy and Mandy! Yay! But there's too many, so i'll just put my fave:

"It's you and me against the world. We attack at dawn."--Mandy


This is Dory. I am using her as a visual aid in the following blog post.
Dory and I are very similar. Not because I'm a fish, which is what Will said. Or because her eyes are a really cool magenta color. No, we're similar because we both have some sort of short term memory loss.
I'm dead serious. Three times of seeing Reckless and i can practically recite it from memory. I can do the same things with books I've read only once or twice. But if you ask me something else like what i said on this day and blah blah blah, I'll have no idea what you're talking about.
Two examples: 1) Molly says that I was ignoring her. I have been accused like 5000000000 times of ignoring people, but it's because of this: I'll be walking with say Molly at that Cornicopia thingy and I'll see Elizzy and remember something i have to tell her so then i'll walk away from Molly and start talking to Elizzy and by the time i'm done talking we'll be in a whole different gym and I'll have forgotton who I was talking to ten minutes before. Then I'll remember but i'll see soemone else and the whole process starts all over again. Also, if i am thinking about something else and someone is talking, i can zone out so totally that i don't hear the person. Not that i'm ignoring them, i just seriously don't HEAR them, i'm that zoned out.
2) Unnamed Friend said that I told him that i think i like someone. I have no memory of this and try to think back to when this may have happened, and i have no idea who i would have been talking about, and then i start freaking out because OMG what if i do like someone but i FORGOT and that's a bit of a scary thought and then Unnamed Friend goes "why won't you just tell me" and i'm panicking because i have no idea when i said that or about who.
So goes the tale of my Dory-like memory. Oh and also just to adress this: I am good at keeping secrets, i really am, as long as they're actually secrets. like who you like or something. I don't tell people about people liking other people, because that's stupid and mean. If it's something like someone broke up, that's not really a secret, so i'm a little less concerned about keeping it because everyone will know in like five seconds anyways. Yeah, that's pretty much it.

Sunday, November 19, 2006

Imperfection, Chapter 2

There was this complete and total awkward silence. And before i tell you anything else, I should tell you about the Baums. They were, I knew from hearing them talk to my mom, the type of Southern people who did everthing in a very...twangy way. Like how they ended all of their sentances with "if you don't mind" or "yes ma'am/sir" and called each other "Mrs." and "Mr." Also, they werent very accustomed to seeing chaos of any sort, as, according to Mr. Baum, chaos tends to "upset the little lady" (can you hear me screaming?)

The man (Mr. Fred Baum, if you don't mind) stared. The woman (Miss Caroline Amber, if you don't mind) gasped. The boy (whoever he was) looked close to laughing.

"Ah...oh dear," Miss Amber-if-you-don't-mind said. "What on EARTH is going on in here?"

"Oh, it was just..." a huge glob of creme filling glopped onto the floor. Great. That just helps SO much. "...see, I was making these donuts, well, creme-filled, actually, which are different from donuts cuz they have no holes so they're more like pastries, and I can handle some other pastry-ISH things, and donuts, but creme-filled are different because..." You've been here before. I realized that i was blabbering. "Anyways, there was a hole and I wanted to figure it out and then it just sort of...kaboom," I finished lamely.

"Oh, dear me." Great. "Miss Amber" (why does her name sound so ridiculous to me?) was showing all the signs of a freakout dead ahead. "Does that happen often, if you don't mind? Becaus the cake needs to be perfect. If the cake isnt perfect, I don't know WHAT I'll do." And here came the tears. Instead of feeling bad for her like a normal person would, I started screaming at her in my head, as I'm apt to do during cases like this.

Good greif. It's just a stupid donut. "Don't worry, Miss Amber..."

Oh, now you're going to go all manly-manly and put your hand on her shoulder, huh? " mother is making your cake, not me..."

I bet you think I'd put poison in it. Well, i wouldnt. Where could i get poison around here? "...and she has never blown up a baked good in her entire career."

This seemed to calm them down. And now that you mention that cake... "Um, is there a problem, by the way? With the cake, I mean." Please do not say you want to change it. For your own good and mine. I don't think my mom could handle that right now without strangling herself, you, or me, and we do not need homicides or suicides right now.

"Oh, no," she assured me. "The cake is just perfect, yes ma'am. Perfect." But...

"But..." There it was. "We just wanted to check up on things, you know, to make sure. If you don't mind." I had a pretty concrete feeling that my mom was SO going to mind. I could already imagine what she would be telling me and my dad at the dinner table. "She says she comes to check up on the cake! Does SHE have twenty-five years of experience? No. Does she have even a little tiny clue what would be wrong if there WAS something wrong? And the cake isnt even baked yet! She's going to go and have a panic attack!" The mom in my head was getting annoying, so I shut her up, gave the Baums a totally fake smile, and called for my mom. "Mom! The Baums are here!" If you werent related, you couldnt hear the sarcasm in my voice. You also wouldnt be able to see how my mom turned off the blender, banged her head against it a couple of times, then put on an equally fake smile and came out of the back to greet them. You couldnt see that because, well, you wouldnt be allowed behind the counter.

That was when i noticed that guy standing there behind them. And that i still had the remnants of a creme-filled donut on my hands. "I'll be with you in a second."

After washing all of the donut off of my hands, face and hair, I came back out. He was still, surprisingly, there. And he didnt look even a tad pissed off. Most human beings, I have noticed, have very little tolerance for waiting for anything. I don't know why, because I'm used to it. Waiting for things to bake, waiting for them to find all their spare change, waiting for my shift to be over. But the general population seems to have a problem with it. Exibit A: McDonalds.

"I'll take you over here." I waved him over to the second register that had been my parent's anniversary present. "What can I help you with?"


"Hi." What???

"I'm Henry."

"Hi, I'm Catie. Would you like to buy something?"

"So I'm in town for a wedding," Henry said like I hadnt said a word.

Who isnt? "Oh, really? Whose?"

"Theirs," he nodded towards the other side of the store, where my mom was smiling up and the Baums (she's kind of short) and ominously twisting her apron around in a manner which suggested that she would rather it be their necks.

"Oh, that's nice." Frankly, I was bored already. This guy had this air about him like he thought he was the greatest thing to happen since, well, anything. He had popular clothes, popular shoes, and even Popular Hair (big, long and blonde).

"So I was thinking," he said with a smile that looked more like a smirk, "maybe you wanted to get a hot dog after the wedding, or even later today. Maybe hang out."

"I'm a vegitarian." Which is true, but i said it in a very cold way. Now that i knew what he wanted, I wasnt going to bother with my Customer Manners. Because these wedding guests, they look at the happy ending and the Couples being all perfect, and they get depressed. They want to find someone to be vomitously adorable with. The girls just sit around and sigh. The guys, however, look for someone to "hang out" with.

And while "hanging out" means "talking and possibly getting some strawberry icing" to most normal people, "hanging out" to wedding-goers means "shoving their tounge in your mouth until the reception is over and not calling the next day."

Now he looked annoyed that I hadnt picked up on his subtleness. "See, the hot dog wasn't really the point--"

"Are you going to buy something?" I asked, drawing myself up to my not-so-impressive 5 foot 5.

"C'mon, all I was asking is if you wanted to--"

"If you're not going to buy something, you have to leave," I cut in.

"Fine. That." He pointed to the chocolate rabbit that was about as old as me and only for decoration. But I wasn't going to tell him that. "So, what do you say?"

"Your total comes to $11.50," I said, shoving the poor bunny into the bag.

"That much for a stupid chocolate Easter Bunny?" Then he realized that this wasnt the best way to get me to "hang out" with him. "I mean...sure." He handed me a 20.

"Your change is $8.50," I said, ripping off the receipt.

"Hey, if you didnt want to hang out, you should have said soemthing."

"Fine. I don't want to hang out."


"Have a nice day," I said in a way that meant the exact opposite.

"Fine!" He grunted like a spoiled three-year-old.

Then he walked out.

We didnt end up meeting in a bizzare twist of fate.

He didnt turn out to be sweet and shy under the popular exterior.

We never had one of those Big Moments that you always see in the movies.

I never saw him again.

Friday, November 17, 2006

Imperfection, Chapter 1

And if you're thinking about changing my direction-
Don't mess with imperfection.
--Imperfection, Saving Jane

"Hellllllloooooooo, Anicca Hill! It's 7:30 Tuesday morning and a beatiful 85 degrees outside. Time to wake up and smell the summer!"

My eyes snapped halfway open, like in a horror movie. I didn't want to wake up and smell the summer. I wanted to sleep. I karate-chopped it weakly. No luck. The announcer blared on, the noise filling my small bedroom.

So I did the only logical thing.

I ripped it out of the wall and opened my window.

I dangled it out of the window by the cord as the theme song played (my mom made me get a clock with backup batteries after it was "mysteriously" pulled out of my wall too many times), looking for some sign that i shouldnt drop it.

"Today we'll be playing a 6-hour marathon of disco hits, followed by the greatest songs of Phil Collins!"

Bombs away.


I didnt want to wake up and smell the summer.

My summer smelled like the rest of my year.

Like cake.

I live in a town called Annica Hill on a street known unofficially as The Wedding Walk by everyone who lives around here. The tourists and Couples call it "Rose Blossom Lane." Ew.

The town is named for, you guessed it, the gigantic hill just where all the sidewalks stop. One second you're walking on pavement, and the next it's grass. It's great for sledding and leaf-pile-jumping during winter and fall, but in summer and spring, it (like the entire town but especially Wedding Walk) is lousy with theatrical Couples, crying and saying "You're ruining my perfect day!" while the photographer snips at kids and chases them away.

Couples, noun. A pair of people, commonly one male and one female, who are engaged or married and totally disgusting together. They often sit in little cafe's and gaze into each other's eyes saying revolting things like "I love you, snookums." "No, I love YOU, honey bunches." "I love you more, sweet pea." "No, I love YOU more, teddy bear." Can also apply to extreme cases of people who are just dating and start every sentance with "My girl/boyfriend" and bore everyone with every detail of their signifigant other's traits. Avoid at all costs.

Wedding Walk is named this because of how it is set up: A photography place, a dress store, the bakery that my dad owns, a catery, this really odd-type tailor/dry-cleaners/tux rental thing, a card store, and a decoration place. Everyone lives in the apartment above their store besides the very frowned-upon photography people. It all ends with this stretch that's officially another street that has a reception-type place at the very beginning. Across the road is the building that doubles as a synogouge and a church and pretty much anything else. It's ridiculous.

Summer and spring are the busiest because of the weather. This is bad for two reasons. 1.) When I'm getting ready for finals, i have to keep running downstairs and checking that that batch of dessert whatevers arent burning to a crisp. 2.) Once i'm actually DONE with the stress of school and finals, i still have to help my parents with the store and, on days when the wedding is going on, watch all of the little kids on the street with my best friend Melissa. That's not all that bad because we can get away from the bakery (me) and the dress store (her) and hand out at the park and on the hill. We actually started putting up fliers for a wedding babysitting service. That's where we made the mistake. One day these wedding people started slyly (or so they thought) dumping their bratty kids into the mix. Which actually turned out not to be so bad after a while, because we were allowed to charge them. My mom has issues with A) Our taking money from them and B) Our not-so-organized-to-the-human-eye system of how we charge them (based on brattiness of kid, rudeness of parent, if the kid starts a fight, sobriety of parent at pickup time, etc.). But what doesnt my mom have issues with?

Today it was the fact that as Benny, one of the caterers, was sweeping the sidewalk, like he always does when there will most likely be Couples around, he found the crumbled remains or an alarm clock on the ground.

"That clock cost money, Catarina Julianne," she snapped at me as i walked downstairs into the store wearing the uniform (jean shorts, black t-shirts, pink apron) and tying back my hair. "You're paying for that with whatever comission you get today."

I sighed and blew my overlong bangs out of my face. "Mom,what other 15-yer-old girl do you know who has to wake up early on the first day of summer? Can you blame me?"

The answer written across her face was a resounding "Yes."

"We have a big deal wedding coming up in three days, and this cake is stressing me out enough without your theatrics," she said. "Go back and make those donuts that those people wanted."

I stared at the piece of paper she had handed me. "Creme-flilled?"


" want ME to do this?"

My mother threw her hands up in the air. "Catarina Julianne, I don't have TIME for this. Your father is on a delivery, and they will throw a fit if they don't have their...their darn donuts!"

What told me to back off: Darn is the closest that my mom ever comes to cursing. Also the fact that she was using my entire full name when i have serious violent tendancies toward anyone who calls me Catarina instead of Catie.

So i went in the back and started to make the stupid things. Now, despite what most people might think, i am not automatically a master baker just because my mom and dad are really good at it. Cake is fine. I can do the cake. I can even decorate the cake. Normal donuts are fine as well, along with cookies. But nothing as complicated and creme-filled donuts. Stop laughing! It's actually really complicated! *smashes chair over laughing person's head* There, that's better.

Anyways, it went rather well until the end, when i noticed that one of them was oozing the yellow creme. I just couldnt tell where it was coming from.

So, since I am an idiot, I put on a pair of those disposable plastic gloves, picked it up, wiped the creme off of the outside, and squeezed.

Bam. The entire thing exploded, sending waves of yellow liquidated sugar over my hands, not to mention that it splattered all over my hair and face.

For a second i just stared at it in shock. Then I started to laugh like a crazy person.

The bell on the door rang at that exact moment. Of course.

I assumed that it was a neighbor coming to confier with my mom about the Baum wedding, who would laugh, or my dad coming back from his deliver, who would laugh harder. So i ran out, still lauging, still covered with donut guts.

Then i saw who it was, and stopped laughing.

A Couple.

The Baums, to be precise.

And behind them was a guy.

A guy i didnt recognize, to be precise.

A guy who wasn't actually bad-looking, but staring at me like i was a moron, to be

I opened my mouth, wanting to come up with A) a snappy comeback to show them that i wasnt totally mentally deficient or B) and apology to show the Baums that i wasnt going to do the same thing to their cake.

"Hi, welcome to Stewart's Baked Goods and Confections. How may I help you?"

Thursday, November 16, 2006


I have all of Chapters 1 and 2 of Imperfection in various school notebooks and binders.

There are two things stopping me from posting them.

One is the fact that i have been in an odd place recently. I've just wanted to sleep, and i've been doing weird things. Like not having enough common sense to let go of the Snapple when Glen was pulling on it and falling from one of the stairs in the band room down to the other one, flat on my face, and only listening to my music really quiet but mostly feeling like i want all of the noise to shut up and to shove my head under a pillow.

The second is that no one comments on my blog anymore. I'm not sure if i want to go to the trouble to actually post my story if no one is even going to read it.

So tell me what to do, and i'll probably do it.

That's all, i guess

Sunday, November 12, 2006

New Blog Story!!! Eeeeeeeee!!

That's the title. Now you know what i was going on about when i talked about Scrabble tiles. In fact, those are two of the little Scrabble word holder dealios. If you look you can see the line.

I actually havent written any of it yet. I just have it in my head. So far i know that the girl has black hair, twin older sisters, she works in a pastry shop next to a wedding store and the sentance "There's my little used car salesman" appears once.

And now, for randomness.


Fell in Love With a Girl by the White Stripes

Shimmy Shimmy Quarter Turn by Hellogoodbye. would make a really good opening song.

Growing on Me by The Darkness. The best montage song ever.

Your Honor by Regina Spektor and Kill Kenada. I don't care if you hate it; it still rocks.

City of Love by Persephone's Bees. The one from the Razr commercial.

Such Great Heights by The Postal Service. The Iron and Wine version is a better all-around song, but way too slow/stoner for a movie.

Uh Oh Hello by Elefant. Another great opening song.

Miss Independent by Kelly Clarkson. I know a lot of people think that she's crap, but i totally heart this song. Good for one of those corny, slo-mo entrences.

Lights and Sounds by Yellowcard. I don't know where it would fit in, but it has to. It's awesome.

Hands Open by Snow Patrol. So much less emo than Run or Chasing Cars.

Bittersweet Symphony by The Verve. Weird band name, but it's good for any scene where people are like, "I LOVE YOU!" Of course in my movie they would get hit by a car directly afterwards. But that doesnt mean that the song isnt good!

Imperfection by Saving Jane. Yes, this is where i got the name of my blog story from. a very good opening song.

There's A Good Reason These Tables Are Numbered Honey, You Just Haven't Thought Of It Yet by Panic! At the Disco. Whew! That tired me out just typing it. And that is actually the name of the song. It seems like something that someone would dance with in one of those huge dance scenes where everyone automatically does the same dance without any sort of visible planning.

Brighter Than Sunshine by Aqualung. Just awesome.

Put Your Records On by Corrine Bailey Rae. Again, awesome.

So how many of those have you actually heard of?


That's my little bro, flying. Like nacho, apparently. Okay, i'll go with it.

The Pussycat Dolls is a group of singers who were totally skinny exotic dancers living in Vegas or wherever who one day suddenly discovered, "Lyke, OMG, we can sing!"

Life is so not fair.

Anyways, they made some "music" and put it on an "album" and got on the "Top 40 Chart" "way more than it was necessary", and got "played" on the "radio" "all the time", and were "constantly plastered all over TV in skimpy outfits, dancing and generally setting back women a hundred years".

So then i turn on VH1. The show was of the musical countdown variety. The Pussycat Dolls were doing the whole music video thing. They went on a subway and pole danced for a while and were wearing teeny little outfits...all while telling this guy that they're not like these other b****es and they don't need his money so stop calling them and they don't like his cadillac...but it is a nice color.

That made me scream at the screen.

Another example of contradictions? What happened to me yesterday. IM for le details.

Saturday, November 11, 2006

Fell In Love With A *Insert Gender Here*

I have the live acoustic version of the song "Fell In Love With a Boy" by Joss Stone. Then I have "Fell In Love With a Girl" by The White Stripes. Make up your mind, people. I also just bought that song "Hey Baby" by No Doubt. Ya know, the one that's way overused in all movies when someone glamourous is making a huge entrance, which is a little ironic cuz if you listen to the song, the lyrics don't match that at all. At least, from what i could tell. Other songs purchased: Shimmy Shimmy Quarter Turn by Hellogoodbye (pretty good) and Honestly by Cartel (okay).

Read post entitled "Anger" below.

And that means you, Voah.


I want to kick someone.

I really, really do.

I do not do anonymous blogs. I'm not Bluecandy6. And yet people persist in thinking this.

It's getting really annoying.

Friday, November 10, 2006

The Light Eternal *vomits*

I hate the name of this song. That right there tho is the cool part where the flute 1's goes e flat e flat e flat e flat then the other flute 1's go d d d d d d d and then most flut 2's go some other note, and me and molly do f sharp since we're different like that! Tim photoshopped that picture, and heeeere it is, in all of it's awesomeness:


Today my brother had Cameron sleep over. Actually, i guess that would be yesterday. But he's still here. So now it's today.


Will jumped on me from on top of a couch. It hurt, considering that i was on the floor and he jumped like a stage dive from a good distance above me.


I really so want to write a blog story. Another one, i mean. But i can't think of anything to write about. I have the first scene sitting here in my head, but i don't know if i should materialize it or not. I also have to think of a title. Maybe I'll do "I Want Candy" cuz that's the song i was listening to when i got the idea. But i tried, and I Want Candy won't fit onto a scrabble thing!! I know that you have no clue what i'm talking about. But just go with it.

Yeah, that's pretty much it.


Pretty much, here's what happened: Cameron and will were playing Scrabble. Cameron decided that the word "nag" was spelled with a K. He seriously wouldnt give up. Then i said "Oh, and you spelled "liar" wrong" and then he got mad.

Just had to post that, along with the insane music above. And the fact that i am so glad that we don't have school today. Because i do NOT need newspaper class today. Or the bus. I'm really beginning to dislike the bus. We have a lot of jocks and a lot of popular kids, so the noise gets so loud that even my iPod can't drown it out anymore. The morning is a little better, but there are still all these guys doing bad South Park impressions. Or now actually they do bad Borat impressions.

Another thing i can't stand is gym. I'm never going be athletic. Or a gym teacher. Or a gym...nest. Okay, i'm done.

Thursday, November 09, 2006


This is a picture that i took without looking in the hallways of school.

I just watched Bend It Like Beckham. I've seen it twice but that was like two or something years ago so i didnt remember much and i was dancing to the songs and no not DANCING dancing just running around. But it was a Bollywood movie, meaning that there were tons of accents: Scottish, German, Indian, English, etc., all ranging from mild to extremely heavy. that wasnt very much of a problem for me, but my sister cannot understand accents at all, so every five minutes she would say, "Ali, what did they say? What does that mean?" until my head went explode.

So oui.

Wednesday, November 08, 2006

The Aqua-Po

I wish i could say that i somehow Photoshopped that onto the bottle.

But no. It is a product of pure human stupidity...that i had nothing to do with.

I'm writing this before i do stuff. Like homework.

The VOA has blacklisted "me". But he's not right, so i don't care. Yesh...things.

Well, not much to talk about now.


Monday, November 06, 2006

VOA/Voah/This Is So Confusing

I don't really know a lot about this guy, but so many people have done a Voah post (tim's done TWO and sam has a story!!) that i felt that i should.

Or wait. Didnt I read somewhere that he wanted to be called VOA? I'll just stick with that, since Voah sounds like Noah and Noah sounds like fists hitting Noah's face.


What i realized about all those VOA posts? They were all by dudes, unless there's a girl VOA-poster out there. If so, my apologies. If not, i wanted to be the first girl to get at this whole VOA mystery.

When the VOA came to the world of blogging, he didnt seem all that important. People figured that he would reveal himself soon enough and life would go back to normal.

But then something revolutionary happened. Everyone realized that VOA was not an attention-craving type. He was not about to come out to the world and say, "My name is _____". And that was what started it all. The human need for information.

You could also call it being nosy.

But I'm not one to judge.

Then people started having a lot of speculations about who it was (including me). Then they started mocking him (i didnt mock so much as think it was tim and try to annoy him). Then they started hero-worshipping him. That was when it got a little out of control. I don't know what the rest of you think, but i'm pretty sure that VOA wasnt looking for all this attention. It's not like he came out with a big splash, complete with trumpets and jazz hands. It was just one comment one day, a couple more another day.

Or maybe he was looking for it. Maybe this is all some huge convaluded scheme. The truth is that we may never know.

Then the snowball started rolling down the hill. It got bigger and bigger and bigger, and now VOA is almost a celebrity in his own right. And while we're on that point (not really though), who says that VOA isnt female? I actually always pictured him/her as a guy, but who knows, really. I'll just stick with him to make things less complicated.

Now, though, the snowball is at its biggest. My question is this: What is at the bottom of the hill? What will the snowball hit when the ground evens out?

And will we ever know who made the snowball in the first place?

Sunday, November 05, 2006

Hiss List:

1. My hair. I got it cut. First it looked all flippish and odd but it was straight and semi-okay-looking. Now it looks like SPAZ out at the end and poofish.
2. Adults. They listen to nothing that you say ever. Ex: last night i went to my brother's friends house with my family. I had just eaten lunch, but the adults kept bugging me: Eat the pizza. Eat a quesadilla. Eat the cookie. So i had a piece of pizza and felt so awful for the rest of the night that i sat on a really uncomfortable bench and stared at a plastic bug for an hour and a half straight just to keep from throwing up.
3. Our government. My brother is nine, and he has identified himself as a Republican. Nine. Effing. Years. Old. I took a quiz and it said that i was liberal, but I'm 14! That's different!! Plus, i refrain from identifying myself as anything but "purple", because my entire family is pretty much Republican, which i don't get.
4. The total lack of AA batteries in our house. That one's self-explaintory.
5. The people obsessing over who MF is. Look, i'm not going to tell you, especially if A. You are male or B. You are my friend. Because i don't want to narrow it down at all, cuz then people can figure it out. i will not say yes, it was him, but that doesnt mean it wasnt. I will not say, no, it's not him, but that doesnt mean it is. Got it? Good.

Saturday, November 04, 2006

Dreams #2

I was reading over a post about the strange dreams i had while at my grandma's house (written July 5, titled "Dreams") yesterday. Then i came back from marching band at midnight, fell into bed, and had the oddest dream. When i woke up, i wrote it all down in meticulous detail so i could analyze it later.

Basically it sums up as this: I drove down to my old neighborhood in Maryland with most of my friends, plus some random marching banders. Hee marching banders. Ran up to my old house with Molly and a male friend of mine and also Zoe. Zoe rang the bell and a guy came out and yelled at me because i had somehow picked up one of his flowerbeds (the entire flowerbed, these really fake pink and yellow flowers). He was wearing a pink shirt. There was a lot of pink, actually. Anyways. We went up and somehow got in a fight with the pink shirt guy and this nice guy who he was bossing around a lot over the car keys. Then Molly and Zoe disappeared, and it was just me and the male friend. The keys somehow got into all of these tubas and trumpet. Me and the male friend went, "It's a trap!" and ran away from the instruments cuz we thought they were going to explode (my dreams are very illogical). But then they didnt explode and we got the keys. Then we somehow ended up in an ice cream place, only all the ice cream was weird, chocolate and vanilla squares with some strawberry in bowls. MF (male friend) was sitting on a table, and we were talking to the nice guy, and all of a sudden i kissed him. Then he kissed me like five times. have i mentioned that i have no romantic interest in this guy AT ALL??!?!??! That was odd enough. But then i ended up walking around in school with Frances, only it was MIDDLE school, and i saw MF and smiled and started singing "Christmas Bells" from rent. Frances and i walked down the stairs of the school into my living room, where MF was sitting on the couch. I sat down with him, and there was a projector-type thing projecting my AIM buddy list onto the ceiling. So i laid down on the couch and looked at it, and there was a super long name i didnt recognize, but i thought it might be this guy in my study hall. I typed, "Who Are You?" and sent it to the long screenname. Then MF turned to me and said. "You already know who it is. Why are you asking?"

Then i woke up.

I know that was super long, but it was DISTURBING!! So now, to analyze...arg. I looked on the site and they have like nothing. Shouldnt "Pink" be a catagory? grrr. It was all just very very odd and the end probably meant something too.

Friday, November 03, 2006

Just In Case You Were Wondering.

This is Mandy.

Mandy, meet my readers.

Readers, Mandy.

She was the inspiration for my blog name change. Make sure to read the little subtitle thing. The name of the blog is "I Missed You...But My Aim Is Improving." I may just end up changing it alltogether so that people don't get creeped out.


So just FYI, that is a quote from Mandy. In case you don't know, she is from the best cartoon ever, "The Grim Adventures of Billy and Mandy." She has the best quotes. Like, ever.

Today, i am sick. I keep having these really odd stomach pains that make it hard for me to stand. It's like every time i breathe, something hurts. And that's getting really old, cuz breathing is just SLIGHTLY necessary.

I keep seeing all these commercials about that weird movie called "Borat" that the guys in my Algebra 1B class talk about when they're not doing bad South Park impressions. Now they're doing the accent. I think the director (sasha cohen, i think) is the same one who made Marie Antionette. She is SO cool. Anyways, this movie. It's filmed like a documentary, but the dude is fake. Also, you can't tell weather or not the people that the dude is talking to are actors or not. It's all quite confusing. And very sexist. And insulting.

And yet, strangley funny.

Also, i started writing a story for my cousin. It was supposed to be a christmas present. He's 12, so it's about superheros. Or it was supposed to be. Still is, too, but it got a little like ish. So tell me if i should post the first part. It's a tad stupid but not as stupid as it could be.