Friday, June 09, 2006

Dance

the dance was actually good up until the end because i was the strong one. i laughed and i danced like i couldnt stop. i was happy. i was strong.

then i saw something and made a big deal. but i just couldnt stop crying. i'm sorry for all the people who i dragged into it with me. i really should have known better.

Because i've figured something out: i'm not supposed to be with anyone. no matter how bad i want it, i'm not about to get it. i should have learned it before. God, i'm such an idiot. but somehow i sort of hoped that this would be the one time. and it hit me so hard when i saw. catherine, carissa, my own friends pushing them together. they don't know. it wasnt their fault. but it was so...i couldnt take it. it's happened so many times that i've come to this conclusion:

I will not find anyone for me. It's not something i like or want. it's something i have to live with.

3 comments:

Sam said...

Okay... I'm not going to call you emo.

And I'm also reminding you you're in FREAKIN' EIGHTH GRADE!!!

YOU'RE FATE IS NOT SEALED IN EIGHTH GRADE YOU MORON!

I know someone who is a SENIOR that does not have a boyfriend!

YOU WILL FIND SOMEONE!

that is all.

Ello said...

dont fear! ello is in the same boat! yay! but its only 8th grade, & nxt yr it'll all be different! yay!

Molly Wobbles said...

Ali its ok its only eigth grade we still have highschool and there are lots of guys there!