Friday, June 09, 2006

Dance

the dance was actually good up until the end because i was the strong one. i laughed and i danced like i couldnt stop. i was happy. i was strong.

then i saw something and made a big deal. but i just couldnt stop crying. i'm sorry for all the people who i dragged into it with me. i really should have known better.

Because i've figured something out: i'm not supposed to be with anyone. no matter how bad i want it, i'm not about to get it. i should have learned it before. God, i'm such an idiot. but somehow i sort of hoped that this would be the one time. and it hit me so hard when i saw. catherine, carissa, my own friends pushing them together. they don't know. it wasnt their fault. but it was so...i couldnt take it. it's happened so many times that i've come to this conclusion:

I will not find anyone for me. It's not something i like or want. it's something i have to live with.

3 comments:

Sam Austin said...

Okay... I'm not going to call you emo.

And I'm also reminding you you're in FREAKIN' EIGHTH GRADE!!!

YOU'RE FATE IS NOT SEALED IN EIGHTH GRADE YOU MORON!

I know someone who is a SENIOR that does not have a boyfriend!

YOU WILL FIND SOMEONE!

that is all.

Ello Shertzer said...

dont fear! ello is in the same boat! yay! but its only 8th grade, & nxt yr it'll all be different! yay!

Molly said...

Ali its ok its only eigth grade we still have highschool and there are lots of guys there!